Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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