I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
