barbara walters just said penis...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
