ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
