do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's never too late to be topless.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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