Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
