i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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