I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
