My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
