People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
