im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize