i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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