Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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