I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
