It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
