so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
