New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
