Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
