Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
