10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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