Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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