sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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