HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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