Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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