No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
