I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
