I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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