What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
