Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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