p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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