need another drink. this is the easiest way
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize