how can u be prego again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
