so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
