i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize