We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
