if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
