I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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