She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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