im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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