dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
