Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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