and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
