my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
