i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
