Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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