Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
