Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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