not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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