Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
