it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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