i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize