direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
