You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
