I got chris browned last night
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
