some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
