Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you still have your period?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
