A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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