i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
