His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
