I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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