Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
