I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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