Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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