dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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