I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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